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These are some pearlers collected over the years from either discussions in class or homework.
Ignore the black code letters beneath each one as they are for my benefit. They are meant to help me remember the writers
of such pearls of wisdom ...
Why do tourists come to New Zealand?
Because we have lots of atracksions like green stones ...
Yr 7/MI
A little 6-year-old with a strong US accent told me he was born in 'Francisfrisco'.
G?/PC
A suicidal teen is one who commits suicide a lot.
BM/SJ
Noticing that my hair was quite short, a 5-year-old child asked if I was a 'boy or a girl'. I reminded him of my name -
Mrs F... - and then his face lit up - 'aaaaaaaahhhhh you're a GIRL!!'
At my ripe old age, that felt GOOD!
??/SC
From a Biosecurity unit .. Yr 7/8
... and you might bring in parasights, countrie plants and aniamals could die.
??/SJ
Name the politician who was known for his sort stature, cutting tongue, and a dimple-cheeked chuckle.
Sir Rabbit Muldewme
JG/SJ
The Selfish Giant's warning sign... (mixed class Book Week 1997 swap)
Trespasers will be persecuted
Gen/SJ
...taken from the written version of a recorded interview with me by three Std 2 girls for inclusion in the 1997 St Joseph's
School Journal...
Q. Are you involved with other choirs?
A. Yes I am, I am conducting the Dutch Choir, the Neverland Society Choir...
Q. What kind of music do you like best?
A. ...we always used to listen to Oprah... ...my great-grandparents sang in the Itlian Oprah Company in Italy...
Q. Do you have a favourite type of song?
A. ...still belong to an Oprah of some sort...
??/SJ
Where was the Hot Air Balloon race held in 1996?
In the sky
KD/SJ
The mountain which forms a striking and characteristic feature of Canaan in Israel is called...
Mount Caramel (Carmel)
RD/SJ
...and what do you think 'toothbrush' needs? (lesson on Plurals)
Toothpast
AT/SJ
Reminder about the rules of Debate...'The adjudicator must be neutral...'
'Oo, that must be painful'
AB/SJ
...taken from a student's story...
He had a real mean farther and a butterful mother..
SG/SJ
If you were elected Prime Minister what would you do?
..and I promice to provyd better ejekton for kids...
AT/SJ
From a class debate on Speed & Alcohol...
...and people have to be more careful because of the increased police breast-testing...
BG/SJ
What happened to cause the 1997 air disaster over Pakistan?
Ranuta gasn hyjakt
AT/SJ
Deadpan Maori boy in my class, when asked by someone in fun if he was 'cheating' replied "Nah, just copying his one'
....
AR/SJ
What nationality were the first settlers of Dannevirke?
The Donations
KD/SJ
Muldoon held the 'safe seat' of East Tamaki. What is meant by this?
Drivers must wear seat belts if they are in East Tamaki.
JG/SJ
An antagonist is a person who -
Studies ants
??/SJ
Which is the largest lake in New Zealand?
Sorry - can't find it.
RB/SJ
A Mother's Day story from the Junior school-
We went to McDonald's to get Mum's breakfast. Mum and Dad had a bugger.
??/SJ
From science assignment -
The Coral reefs are full of tiny orgasms.
AB/SJ
Which one doesn't belong: Glasgow, London, Paris, Lisbon, Rome?
Paris - because it doesn't have an 'o' in it
DM/SJ
The first book of the Bible is called ..
Joan of Ark
KD/SJ
On the pros and cons of cellphones...
Selphones are good for axadint
AT/SJ
The last book of the Bible is called -
Revolutions
Who would use the following emblems of office? (Students had to COPY the first part from the board, then research the answers!)
A feather clock - a Moari chef
Equalettes and pipes - a plumber
A mace - plice spray
Gold brayding - a princess
The Garter - a bride or woman
Strips - Army, Navy or prisoners
Wig and gown - juge
White suit & belt- Karate guy or a baker
Black suit, shit & tie - buttler, or a lover (!)
AB/SJ
College Daily Notices -
Indoor bowels start tomorrow night at 7pm
On Vivaldi ...
1. Vivaldi was a very enterprising orcastrator.
2. Vivaldi's father was a backer and a virtuso violinist.
Yr 9/SP
The Pope was born in -
1. Holland
2. Delhi
3. Asia
4. Beflim
5. Not sure, but he was born
TA/SJ
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